Rent a Kouhai
by Whisper Reilman
Summary: Seigaku must replenish their club treasury after their visit to Germany. Oneshot


The idea, while promising, was also flawed. The main flaw resided in the fact that the idea came from Fuji Syusuke and was, therefore, destined to be problematic. Yes, the club needed to replenish the treasury money spent visiting Tezuka in Germany, but Inui failed to see how Fuji's plan would work and allow the tennis club to retain any dignity.

"Inui, is there a problem?" Fuji smiled, a clipboard nestled in the crook of his arm.

Inui turned away. He needed to prepare a new juice for tomorrow's practice. This time, he'd see Fuji comatose and drooling on the floor.

&-&

"Momo-senpai, you have to do it. Fuji-senpai is making us." Echizen tried to pull Momoshiro out of his hiding place in the broom closet, but only succeeded in wrenching Momo's shoulder.

"It's not fair! Why do the Mamushi and I have to do it? Why only us?" Momo took his arm back and moved deeper into the closet.

"Because Fuji-senpai is mad at Inui-senpai because of the bowling thing and now he's getting his revenge." Echizen grabbed a tennis ball from his pocket and started tossing against the doorframe. "Come on Momo-senpai. You owe me burgers."

"But why _me_? I didn't do anything!"

Echizen pocketed the ball and pulled his cap down. "Fuji-senpai is mad at me for beating his brother."

Momo poked his head out of the closet and frowned. "That doesn't explain why _I_ have to do it."

Echizen refused to answer that.

&-&

"Hello everyone." Fuji smiled at the audience, his teeth glinting in the sun. "Thank you for joining Seigaku's First Annual Rent a Kouhai Auction." Fuji smoothed out his white satin blazer before continuing. "I'll remind you," here he looked at Echizen, "that you must be a third year in order to participate in today's auction. If all goes well, we will have some ichinen for sale next week." Fuji's eyes opened and he bared his teeth at Echizen. "I will now turn the proceedings over to Taka-san, who will conduct the auction. When you are ready to collect your kouhai, please see Oishi-fukubuchou with your payment. Cash only, please." Fuji stepped down, handing Taka-san the mic.

"GREAT-O! COME ON AND BUY YOUR KOUHAI BABY!"

&-&

Inui's palms were sweating. He couldn't very well bid, even though Kaidoh looked absolutely terrified, standing on stage in nothing but a pair of obscenely high cut tennis shorts. If he bid on Kaidoh, it would betray the rules of discretion that they agreed upon after their first doubles win celebration.

"GOING ONCE!"

Still, there was only an eighty percent chance of arousing suspicion if he bid on his kouhai. The current winner was a nice girl, but she made Kaidoh nervous. Kaidoh couldn't afford to be nervous right now. Nerves negatively impacted his ability to concentrate, and Kaidoh had two tests tomorrow. As a responsible senpai, Inui was honor-bound to do something.

"GOING TWICE! BID IT UP! COME ON!"

Inui inspected his wallet and raised his hand. "Twenty-two thousand, four hundred and ten yen." Inui swept his gaze, momentarily, to Kaidoh, who was blushing with an unprecedented fifty-eight percent increase to his natural skin tone.

"SOLD! THE POWER OF LOVE TRIUMPHS! DOUBLES FOREVER!"

Inui rushed up to Taka-san and removed the microphone. Kaidoh was already off stage.

&-&

Echizen watched a girl hand feed Momoshiro. It was gross and unsanitary and Fuji-senpai was going to get it. Echizen was telling buchou, just as soon as Tezuka started answering his cell phone again. It was Inui-senpai's fault that Tezuka-buchou wasn't answering his phone. Inui-senpai was under the impression that Tezuka could somehow control Fuji-senpai's actions. Stupid.

"Hey Echizen, come on over!" Momo waved to Echizen and Momo's "owner" nodded in agreement. "Ayako-chan says that you can join us for lunch."

Echizen looked at the large bento sitting between the two and thought of his small lunch of egg salad and Ponta. "Hai, senpai."

&-&

"Am I done yet, senpai?" Kaidoh and Inui sat in the chemistry lab. Inui was making his new Anti-Fuji Super Platinum Remix and Kaidoh, per Inui's instruction, was doing sit-ups, shirtless, in the tennis shorts.

"Yes. I require your assistance." Inui moved from the bench, allowing the new juice to simmer. "Follow me, please." Inui led Kaidoh into an adjacent room. In the room was a chaise lounge and a bowl of grapes. "It is time for my lunch now."


End file.
